Day 12
Breakfast at Lancaster’s Central Market. Then to an Amish town called Intercourse, PA, which was featured in the terrible Tim Allen movie For Richer or Poorer. There are a lot of innuendo-heavy town names in Pennsylvania Dutch country; nearby are Bird-in-Hand, Blue Ball, Virginville, and a few others I’m forgetting. We passed through Bird-in-Hand on the way and you can probably imagine the wonderfully mature dialogue that followed. (“We went from Bird-in-Hand to Intercourse!” “Bird-in-Hand was fine, but I think we’re ready for Intercourse now.” Etc.)
Two of the scariest places we visited on this trip were in this lovely little Amish town. One was a knife store, which had good kitchen knives but also the kind of blades you see in vampire movies where only the meanest looking weapons will work for killing villains and have weird curves designed for cutting tissue and bone. The other scary place was a doll store which was stocked wall to wall with terrifying vinyl babies. Shay freaked the fuck out and we had to leave.
We calmed down by going to the local pretzel factory. We took a quick tour and even got to hand-twist our own pretzels. I learned that I am not good at this.
Then it was home to New York. We reached city limits (in Staten Island) around 3:00, just in time for Friday traffic. It took us two hours to drive 11 miles. Good to be home.
